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| Happy Birthday to my Jerry!! I hope I'm not keeping you up with my essay typing. Though, now I am typing this. Anyways, I hope you have a wonderful 24th year on the green and blue planet!
Bye for now! | | |
| Last night, even though I only had a few hours of sleep, I dreamt that I saw my mom and for once, she wasn't sick and dying. By now I don't remember much of the dream but I do remember happiness from being hugged by her. I also remembered trying to record our outing with a video camera akin to what Jerry does. I wish I had videos of her from happier times. Sometimes I have to think really hard to remember what her voice sounds like. The same goes for my grandpa, I barely remember his voice. In fact, in my mind, his voice might have already been skewed from the original.
Well, the first quarter of my senior year of college has been interesting and a whirlwind. In fact, I really have no clue how I got here but somehow, here I am 10 weeks later. I had one really good professor this quarter, one of my favorites at the college so far. I had her for two classes, though at times it can be a bit redundant because she repeats her stories and jokes or makes references to text from the other class, I enjoy her teaching style. She firm but not mean or 'too hard'. I like that she doesn't mind engaging in debates about things in the text.
Actually, I had an internet encounter with this professor when I was writing for the newspaper. In her e-mails, she seemed a bit snobby or elitist and criticized certain things but in reality, she just has high hopes and expectations of the students at CSULA. I'm glad she does because I find when I have professors like that, it just makes me more excited about the class and want to work harder. I find I usually get the best grades with professors who are known for being 'tough', 'hard', or 'mean'. It makes me want to 'rise' to the occasion.
On the other hand, I have another professor who I feel tries too hard to seem 'nice'. I don't know anything about what she really thinks about the text. She always asks us what we think but never offers what her true interpretation or opinion is. In fact, sometimes when she asks something and no one answers, she just skips it. If she had offered her insight, I believe that would have helped students formulate ideas or remember things that correlate to the question so they can answer her. Overall, I am very disappointed in the class. Sure, some of the novels were interesting but I had higher hopes for the class because the subject is something I am interested in. There were two texts that were too similar.
In addition to her seemingly lack of confidence to express her insights, she is a new professor so I'll give her some slack, she is incredibly slow in passing back assignments. In fact, next week is our final and we STILL have not gotten back our midterms! We barely got the essay we wrote last month back this weekend. It is very aggravating to wait so long for a paper when other professors hand back papers with a even higher minimum page requirement the very next week.
The professor did apologize and said that she spent most of her time responding to our e-mails instead of grading papers. Well, it HAS been over 24 hours now and she STILL hasn't responded to my questions about my essay topic which is due Saturday night, even though she told us to e-mail her this week if we have questions about the essay or want her advice on our essay topic. BOO!... I hope she responds later today, though by then, I don't think I'll need the answers I asked her that much.
Aside from school, work has kept me very busy. Sometimes I really wish I could just NOT have to work and just get an allowance like my brother so it would leave me more time for school. I took this week off from work because I wanted to study for finals, got three of them and two essays to write.
In other news, right now I am hungry and my netbook battery is running low.
And the time just keeps on passing by. | | |
| i keep thinking about that last day. everything from those last moments since i woke up from my nap keep replaying in my mind over and over. i keep seeing it all the time. watching mom die was not how i expected it to be.
it haunts me.
i miss you. i wish there was a cure for cancer, all types, so no one, the loved ones left behind or the ones afflicted with cancer, would have to go through this pain.
01231969-08052008 | | |
| new goal:
try to only spend $250 a month. will accomplish goal but not using credit card and taking $200 in cash out and only using credit cards for REALLY important things.
Will deposit all money made through tutoring directly to the bank instead of spending it. | | |
| Listening to:  (Overcast Vacation) I remember that day.
I was at the computer, playing games,
when my mom came home.
I turned and with a quick glance,
got out of the chair to give her a hug.
Showed her my new toy,
a skinny, blonde, blue-eyed winged fairy doll,
filling young girls' with foolish and unrealistic ideals of beauty.
I was so excited, the doll was so pretty.
Someone took a picture of us,
me in my Care Bear nightgown,
her in her expensive, pretty clothes.
It has been a long time since I was so happy, so carefree.
Throat tightens with remembrance
of happiness
lost,
Eyes start to fill with tears
but, the tears,
they don't fall. | | |
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